30 Sep 2010

Shut Up already


Peace, Peace, Peace!!!

I donno if it will exist post verdict but it has made its stand past so many days, in social networking sites, print, tv and radio media, emails, messages, conversations, debates and where not.

Common man se celebs tak all they are talking is “Peace”.

These-children-of-bapu-I-tell-you!!

29 Sep 2010

Linkin Up


Its long time there has been long week offs to schools/colleges/offices due to shutdown/curfew isn’t it? Last time it was when some actor was abducted. Not that I am asking for one, but then what is life without disturbances and turbulences.

Talking about turbulences I am reminded of the trying-to-look-dumb-size-zero King Fisher airhostesses. I am not sure whether the weather causes any turbulence but the chicks certainly cause to the fellow passenger men.

King Fisher se yaad aaya, our city will have the airport functioning from Oct 1st 2010. Domestic flights will fly to Bangalore, Chennai, Mumbai, Hyderabad, Delhi and Goa as well. I hope the airport, the planes, air traffic and especially the pilots operating from here will have good amount of flying experience.

The Indian Air Force is the name one can think of while discussing flying experience. Currently fixed-wing transport fleet comprises 24 IL-76 and all of them are kept ready for tomorrow’s Ayodhya verdict happening at 3:30pm. I am not sure how many lives will be made and how many lives will be lost due to this maha judgement.

Come think of it Karnataka especially Mysore has been losing a lot of theatre/cinema artists off late. RIP Vaishali & Ratnakar. I suppose art arena is having that bad time.

Oh about time, office hours are changed on the eve of the verdict. We are asked to shift the entry 9:30am time to 8am and exit time to . That asks for a rewind of 1.5hours of usual daily morning activities time.

Gym is one morning activity I don’t want to miss but since two days giving it a skip for no good reasons. I so decided today morning that I will without fail make it on Thursday but looks like it will have to be called off again for no fault of mine.

You all must be wondering what the hell is this link-up all about, Oh damn I am just bored. When I am bored what I usually do is…. Errr that will be another post I guess.

*Does a Deepika Padukone Om Shanti Om Aakhon mein teri Hand wave* & leaves the stage.

28 Sep 2010

Nitrous oxide leak




My Uncle to his wife who has been using Fair & Lovely since she was 18

"This stuff called "2 weeks mein gorapan" doesn't work lady. If it would have then you would have become one Albino by now"


My grandma to my cousin who was cribbing that he forgot his belt and his pant was a bigger size.

“Just take that suthli daara (gunny bag tying thread) and swirl it around your pant kid, you’ll be fine”


My chikamma to my nephew who will be writing his board & CET exams this year

“I know what board exams are, you got to write the answers on the black board but what the hell is this CET all about”


Aunt’s mom advising aunt not to buy fireworks for Diwali.

“Why buy new crackers? Last year I had kept the unused ones up on the shelf. They might be a little moist, just put them on the heated pan for few minutes & then give them to the kids. Stop wasting money”


27 Sep 2010

Kaliyuga Mahisasuras


Someday: District in charge minister says that this year’s Dasara will be the best, mostly because there will just be “Yeddy’s” Blow-ups and none others along with him. May be goddess Chamundeshwari & the elephant gang will be included.

Someday + 1: A new minister is made the District in charge and he calls for a meeting with all the people associated with it to discuss where the work is and where it needs to go.

Someday + 2: The first citizen, i.e. Mayor realizes that this year it will be 400th year of Dasara after someone explained him the logic behind some common man’s logo, finally selects the logo and gives a press note that this is the logo that has been selected. District minister is angry that the decision was not taken along with him.

Someday + 3: District minister takes the revenge, calls for the calendar/poster release ceremony without the Mayor but includes DC and the Dy Mayor.

Someday + 4: Mayor says that BJP based District Minister is ignoring the JD(S) based first citizen.

Someday + 5: Al though he is invited Mayor decides to skip the inauguration of the Jaatha.

Meanwhile the DC, Dy Mayor is getting all the attention in between these according-to-them-not-so-silly-problems.

& somewhere in the palace the elephants eat the so-called-calorie-based meal, everywhere in Mysore there are lights put-up, pot holes are being re-tarred, paints are thrown at government buildings & far away the goddess is shameful about the kaliyuga.

P.S: just few days to the royal festival, the Dasara Committee is not yet formed.

24 Sep 2010

Lean


10 kgs lost since May & it’s like 4 months.

This kind of losing is fun and healthier too, although people wont notice it in a jiffy ultimately you know the truth and it’s made you more energetic, charismatic and all. That’s more important. Even good stuff out of it is that you won’t gain it as easily as you lost it. The gaining too will be slower (cross fingers it never happens)

This post is dedicated to Pati who has stood by me during these times, himself controlling the urge to eat junk food, having salads and fruits along, waking me up in the wee hours, accompanying me for the gym sessions and sometimes pampering me with its-fine-just-eat-it-today-meals.

It wouldn’t have happened without you!

23 Sep 2010

judgMENTAL


Mamatha, 2nd STD student is very happy about the 2 days declared holiday. “I shall make most of the time, will prepare well for the mid-terms”

“We have got a much awaited break” Rajesh, a part-time gym instructor who also attends the evening college never gets an off is delighted with the state’s orders to close down institutions.

“I’ll leave to my native on Thursday afternoon, it’s been such long I visited them” Pavana just finished booking her bus ticket online & is waiting to meet her family.

The police are having special drills and sessions, the communal harmonies continue with “keep peace” messages and somewhere it is announced that the judgment is postponed. Everyone knows that the CWG starts next week, again keeping it as a reason will be called off.

Ha so much nautanki for nothing I tell you, holidays are declared then taken back, the plans made and changed, marriages, movie releases all are on stake & people are taken as a joke.

When they haven’t even decided on the date of judgment, just imagine what the fate of the decision will be.

& still we have to be proud about being Indians.

22 Sep 2010

Code Chutney - 1


“Can you pass on the sauce please?”

“Here you go”

Purvi goes ahead and pops the sauce on the sirf-do-minute-but-actually-5-minute-Maggi-noodles while her eyes are glued to “Yeh Rishtha Kya Kehlaatha Hai” soap on “Star Minus”.

Shailesh watches her swirl the fork to pick the noodles, then to finally take a first bite and then shout…..

“Shailu I will kill you, what the F&*^ is this taste”

“Ha that was vinegar mixed baby; I wonder how you ladies are so involved watching the dramas that you forget family and even food”

“You wanna know why? Let me get you first, I’ll tell you why”

Purvi and Shailesh were naughtily & happily married for 4 years. She worked for a software firm and he was the head cook for “Garlic” groups of hotels. Her code worked well at his office and his recipes did wonders at their home. To Purvi “Java” was a platform and to Shailesh it was aromatic coffee produced on the island of Java; she could work well after having a cuppa “Java Coffee” and his recipes sold like hot cakes under her “Java” platform based software. They both believed that their marriage worked wonder as it was built under “fun”.

While they were enjoying their life one fine day…..it happened

21 Sep 2010

Kaan aur Kaun


Voice over artists, background singers, dubbing artists people who basically work with their voices are recognized by the kind of tones they have or the accent they use. Their voice is their recognition, and that is the one that paints their picture.

It’s baaye-khaan-ka-khel guessing the singer’s name in “Bahoth Pyaar karte hai” as SPB but have you heard SPB giving an interview in Kannada or the way he hosts “Yedhe Tumbi Haaduvenu”? He pronounces the words like a child and he adds so much happiness to his talks.

Ha though the class of talk is a little kashinath-type RJ Rohith in Big FM (he calls himself rock star, I cannot) has got a husky want to listen kinda voice and all the ads that run on the radio with his voice can be recognized.

While talking about pleasant voices I should mention about one scary laugh; that of my good friend and colleague Shammi. It can scare anyone, don’t believe?

I can make you guys listen it here but you have to promise to come back tomorrow! It's a tough deal, are you ready


20 Sep 2010

Film: Dabangg


Phad ke rakh diya. That’s the dialogue that comes to my mind after watching Chulbul Pandey, Munni and Chulbul’s tearing & flying away shirt.

A simple 70s “Bhaiyya” script & that doesn’t bore the audience, a very nice flow the narration has. The sufi music deserves some accolades too, teamed well by Salman’s belt twisting step, the matrix stunts, only-fat-police, Munni’s costumes and finally heroine ki bare-back cholis.

Thanks to the state holiday I & Pati had to watch it at the second class. Mass movie and second class seems to be a good combination by the way.

Total paisa vasool, I say.

17 Sep 2010

New Beginnings


It’s always nice to be one among the happy occasions, sharing the proud moments and dreaming the same vision. Yesterday I was part of two lovely beginnings, one being the ground breaking ceremony of SPI Phase 2 building at office and another BIL’s second consultant clinic inauguration. Both a result of tremendous success and to accommodate the explosive growth!

Only complain would be the calories accrued due to heavy partying, no pain just the gain this time.

Here’s a toast to more of such events!

15 Sep 2010

WHY!


I shall wipe every tear
Promise to lend you an ear
Do anything to bring you cheer
Just turn around baby I’ll be near
 
I need you now but you are not here,
Just one question, can you answer without fear?!

???

14 Sep 2010

Film: Pancharangi


Century old house
Sea & shore by its side
A coconut tree largely bent
Just 5 costumes per character
Ramu, the not-animated-real-dog

A crisp story that takes place in 3 days & tells you “Lifu Ishtene

Koncha nodiPancharangi” for "Dialogues", "Aashirvaani", “Fresh Nidhi”, “Mature Diganth” and “Seasoned Yograj”.

They blow their own horn


Some relatives whom I fail to recognize even after they naming a 100 people through who we are related have come home to invite us for their kid’s wedding

After serving them the oh-yeah-I-know-you-guys fake smile and coffee, there seem to be a long pause. Only sipping of coffee can be heard. Irritated by the sounds of slurp I decide to break the ice.

Me: So aunty where do you stay these days?
Aunty: We have built a house in Mandya and stay there

Ha if someone would have put the same question to me, my answer would be “Mysore”. Whether I have built the home or someone else built it, should that matter? But for such annoying people it does.

It doesn’t end there

Aunty: So you both go in car everyday to office?
Me: Yeah we do.
MIL: Sometimes they take the two-wheeler too.

MIL is scared that the lady would plant her not-so-good-drushti on us and we’ll be affected.

Aunty: Actually we use our car only when we have to go to far off places.
Me and MIL: ok

She just told us that they have a car.

After few minutes of idhar-udhar ki baatein they leave and to my surprise they handed over a card, but never in a hospitable way invited us for the wedding.

Shucks, it’s better off not knowing such people, I tell you.

13 Sep 2010

Ca - 20


The Bones are scary.
The Bones on the study table.
Study table of Vatti who has to learn about them in her academics.

But why bring them home is my question? I venture into her room, switch on the lights and bam there are close to 15 bones of all shapes and sizes laid arranged neatly on the desk. Recent read of Maatagaathi dd not help much, I was reminded of what-you-will-certainly-find in an Aghori’s bag.

& till date when she talked about ordering the bones from the hospital, I thought they would make them out of plaster of Paris. Not even in dreams I figured she meant they were real ones, of someone not around anymore. Come think of it, as a non-doctor, whose bones that could be. Did he die a natural death or was he an unclaimed mysteriously dead one? Would he be ok if he’d knew that his body and bones were used, polished with some kind of oil and given to students each year, collected back, re-polished and given back for just 500 bucks? May be he gave his body for study purpose like actor Lokesh.

On that note does Lokesh’s family go to the college to view the body? Or may be they avoid it because as sister says the bodies shrink and one cannot even make out the identity. I can get the answer from his offspring may be. But meanwhile what answer I did not get was whether Mayor Uncle was true of donating bodies being a great thing to do. Would he donate his body to such hospitals while he confidently said this?

I better call & check; before that my dear sister who will be a doctor someday, yes we are proud of you that you are living your dream of studying in JSS, that what you missed last time by not placing an application, then studied civil for an year in JCE & did well there too, when everyone were sure you would have dropped your idea of taking entrance again you took COMED-K, came out in rainbow colors to join JSS but please would you for heavens sake move those calcium masses off the table.

I am from the world of copy-paste and mouse-clicks and qwerty-keyboards and format-reboot and USB-Bluetooth and ok you got the point, somehow cannot digest that sight.

Hmphhhhh!!!

11 Sep 2010

Chanda Maama Sogaye.....


For all the people who avoid watching the moon today, Gowri Ganesha habbada shubhashaygalu.

For all the people who are waiting for the moon today, Id mubarak.

& for people who celebrated their januma dina yesterday, Gauri olleyela yashasannu, Ganesha sidhi-budhigalannu kottu kapadali and let the blessings of allah always be with you.

5 Sep 2010

Somewhere far away...


A private cottage
Blanket wrapping weather
Rain hitting the window pane
Long time due book by the bedside
Great soothing music from the plugged ipod
~50 unwatched movies in 1TB external hard disk
Relaxing steams and sauna baths, deep tissue oil massages
No deadlines & no boss & no stress, basically no work
Ma and Pati, 2 important people by my side, not bugging me

Just main aur meri tanhaayee err SOLITUDE, I am living a dream right now and next 9 days.

But wish there was some , ok a little food, sigh!!!
No matter how good your life is, you can never stop imagining a genie coming out a bottle to grant you a wish 3 wishes isn't it? Tsk Tsk it is hard to satify the human breed.

Anyways I’ll get back real clean I tell you. Make sure you recognize me.
Ta for now.

3 Sep 2010

ಹುಡು (ಗಿ) ಣಿ


ಕೂದಲಿನ ಸಣ್ಣ ಎಳೆಯು ಕೆಂಪು LIPSTICK ತುಟಿಗಳ ಮರೆಮಾಚಿದೆ

Manicure ಮಾಡಿಸಿರದ ಕೈಗಳಿಂದ ಅದ ಮೆಲ್ಲ ಹಿಂದೆ ಹಾಕಿದೆ

Hairtsyle ಹಾಳಾಗುತ್ತೆ ಅಂತ ಪಟಪಟ ಬೈಯುವ ನನ್ನ ಮುದ್ದು ಗಿಣಿ

ಏನೂ Make - Up ಇಲ್ಲದೆ ನಗ್ನಳಾಗಿ ಇದ್ರೇನೇ ನೀ ನನಗೆ ರಮಣಿ

*Hopefully lot of wah wah has followed post read*

2 Sep 2010

Book: Johnny Gone Down


With the book I just read; it was no lesser than a fast moving action movie. Trust me I dint even know the author, hadn’t read his first book while picking up that book. It was just for the price & its cover page.

Don’t judge the book by the cover page they tell, & heck “Johnny Gone Down” proved them wrong. Karan Bajaj enthralls the readers with a pace only light can match. One chapter the scenes happen in US and the next Cambodia, few pages turned bang you are in Thailand, some pages read Brazil awaits you, back US and finally like those movies the hero has to come back to his land, India. You virtually travel with the characters though you cannot associate with them.

You can feel the plot only when you connect with the people in them is a common myth, but author here has his way of dealing the story. His write-up made me feel the phantom pain; I could sense the peace after his meditation, watch live the guns firing and I had even imagined the kind of dress I would wear in his created virtual cyber world.

Few drawbacks were the easy-way characters met again. I mean Nick meeting back Sam was a little Bollywood style and why the deadly game gang let go of Nick was a little incomplete, but otherwise it’s a total paisa vasool.

I am off to buy his first novel “Keep Off the Grass”, while you men should definitely pick this one. It’s a pattern after all, just look at it right.

Johnny Gone Down - 5/5

1 Sep 2010

Philo-SOUL-phical


Now this has become a habit

My stories have been selected for Chicken Soup for Indian Golden Soul and Chicken Soup for Indian Bride’s Soul.

Looks like I have a great zeal for some soul writing!

Btw Indian Mother's Soul is on stands, have you bought your copy today?

 
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